Issue 2: On Control, Collapse, and Choosing What Matters

April 17, 2025

Each week, we share our favourite article picks—reads that feel like deep conversations over tea. Stories that make us pause, reflect, and maybe even see the world a little differently.

This week’s reads explore what it means to let go, and the cost of control:

🧭 Quick Links:

The Rich Have Feelings, Too by Tom Wolfe

Tom Wolfe skewers the absurdity of Wall Street elites mourning the loss of their private jets and club memberships after the 2008 crash. As the rich face regulation and public disdain, Wolfe turns their dramatic self-pity into dark comedy. A must-read for anyone who enjoys watching power structures squirm.

1️⃣ The Fall from Privilege Can Feel Like Tragedy
The shift from private jets to commercial flights is depicted as a humiliating ordeal, revealing how those accustomed to luxury see even minor inconveniences as catastrophic losses.

2️⃣ Public Resentment Toward Financial Elites
The article highlights how public opinion turned against corporate executives after the financial bailout, framing them as out-of-touch and undeserving of taxpayer assistance.

3️⃣ Government Intervention as a Humbling Force
The satirical depiction of bureaucrats as "tarantulas" reflects the resentment of financial elites toward oversight, portraying regulation as a personal attack rather than a necessary accountability measure.

5️⃣ The Absurdity of Moral Outrage from the Wealthy
By portraying financial executives as victims for losing their perks, the piece critiques the idea that extreme wealth should shield individuals from consequences, even after reckless financial decisions.

5 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Own Life (Without Knowing It) by Jason Pargin

A crash course in the real reasons we stay stuck: not because we lack tactics, but because we dodge discomfort, avoid sacrifice, and lie to ourselves about what we want. It’s a wake-up call—but one that comes with actionable insight.

1️⃣ Focusing on the How Instead of the Why
People don’t fail because they lack knowledge on how to improve; they fail because they aren’t fully committed to why they want to change. Methods are secondary—when the motivation is strong enough, the process becomes irrelevant. True progress starts with clarity of purpose, not another strategy.

2️⃣ Avoiding the Reality of Sacrifice
Growth requires trade-offs. Every new pursuit—whether learning a skill, building a career, or improving health—demands time and energy that must come from somewhere. The most successful people understand that they’re not adding goals to their life; they’re replacing old priorities with new ones.

3️⃣ Expecting Time to Magically Change You
The future is not a fresh start—it’s an accumulation of today’s choices. A decade from now, a person will not suddenly become disciplined, skilled, or successful unless they are actively building those traits in the present. Without daily action, dreams remain just that—dreams.

4️⃣ Becoming Overwhelmed by the Big Picture: Many people never start because they view a goal in its entirety rather than breaking it down into manageable steps. The weight of an entire journey can be paralyzing, but true progress comes from focusing only on what needs to be done today.

5️⃣ Lying to Yourself About What You Want: There’s a difference between wanting something and liking the idea of it. Many people claim they want success, fitness, or personal growth, yet their actions tell a different story. True desire is reflected in effort—what a person does daily reveals what they truly prioritize.

The Art of Letting Things Be by Ning Collective

Inspired by the Taoist principle of Wu Wei, this piece makes a compelling argument for doing less—and doing it well. It’s not about giving up; it’s about releasing control, flowing with your strengths, and allowing growth to happen without constant strain. Perfect for anyone feeling burnout creep in.

1️⃣ Pushing Harder Isn’t Always the Answer Constant
Effort and over-preparation can be counterproductive. Wu Wei teaches that sometimes the best results come from allowing things to unfold naturally rather than forcing them.

2️⃣ True Progress Comes from Alignment, Not Struggle
Instead of constantly battling uphill, find where your natural strengths and passions lie. Flowing with life's rhythm, rather than against it, can create success with less resistance.

3️⃣ Letting Go of Control Can Lead to Unexpected Breakthroughs

The best ideas often come when we stop obsessing over them—whether it's creative inspiration in the shower or a solution emerging when we step back. Letting go creates space for clarity.

4️⃣ Strategic Inaction Can Be a Powerful Tool: Not every problem requires immediate action. Practicing deliberate pauses, patience, and observation can reveal when effort is unnecessary and when the best move is to wait.

5️⃣ Effortless Growth Is Possible When We Remove Self-Imposed Barriers: We often create unnecessary obstacles—waiting for perfect conditions, overthinking, or delaying action. Wu Wei encourages us to start where we are, even if we're unprepared, afraid, or imperfect.

How Doctors Die by Ken Murray

Doctors often choose less aggressive treatment for themselves at the end of life. Why? Because they know that more interventions don’t always mean better outcomes. This piece forces us to ask: Are we chasing longevity at the expense of dignity and peace?

1️⃣ What Do We Truly Value in Our Final Days?
Doctors, despite having access to every possible treatment, often choose peace over intervention. If those who understand medicine best prefer dignity over medical heroics, what does that say about how the rest of us approach death? Are we chasing more time at any cost, or are we overlooking the importance of how we spend our final moments?

2️⃣ Are We Prepared for the Hardest Conversations?
Families are often forced to make life-altering decisions in moments of crisis, yet most of us avoid discussing end-of-life wishes until it’s too late. If we don’t clarify our values now, are we unintentionally leaving our loved ones with the burden of uncertainty and guilt?

3️⃣ Does Our Fear of Death Lead to More Suffering?
We live in a culture that resists the idea of mortality, treating it as something to be defeated rather than embraced. But in our desperation to extend life, are we actually prolonging suffering? Can we shift our perspective to see death not as a failure, but as a natural, inevitable part of life—one that deserves the same care and intention as how we live?

4️⃣ Are We Prioritizing Quantity Over Quality?
Medicine often measures success in extra days, months, or years, but does longevity always equate to a meaningful life? If given the choice, would we opt for aggressive interventions that leave us in pain and disconnected from the people we love, or would we choose fewer days filled with presence, joy, and dignity?

5️⃣ How Can We Redefine a ‘Good Death’?
The way we die matters—not just for us, but for those we leave behind. Doctors know this and make different choices for themselves. Instead of fearing death, can we reframe it as something to prepare for with intention, love, and agency? Would accepting our mortality earlier allow us to live more fully in the time we have?

I Love You. Please Find Someone Else. By Philip Hoover

This deeply personal essay explores what happens when life takes a turn you didn’t ask for and how love can survive it. Vulnerable, raw, and ultimately hopeful, it reminds us that the most powerful kind of love is the kind that chooses to stay, even when everything else changes.

1️⃣ Chronic Illness Changes Everything—But Not Love Itself
Illness can strip away routines, dreams, and even self-identity, but it doesn’t erase love. The author’s wife, Lauren, reminded him that while his body had changed, who he was remained the same.

2️⃣ The Hardest Part of Sickness Is Losing the Life You Planned
Chronic illness doesn’t just affect health; it rewrites the future. The couple had to let go of dreams they once took for granted—travel, parenthood, spontaneity—learning instead to live in the present.

3️⃣ Guilt Can Be More Isolating Than the Illness Itself
The author pushed his wife away, believing she deserved someone “better” or “healthier.” But in doing so, he nearly sabotaged their relationship, proving that sometimes, love means accepting care rather than rejecting it.

4️⃣ Acceptance Is Harder Than Hope—But It’s Necessary
The turning point wasn’t finding a cure but shifting perspective. They stopped waiting for their "old life" to return and instead focused on managing the life they had—finding joy in small, steady moments.

5️⃣ Love Is a Choice, and So Is Letting It In: The most powerful moment comes when Lauren insists, "It’s not up to you to decide how much I can take. That’s my choice." Love, in sickness and in health, isn’t just about endurance—it’s about choosing each other, over and over again.

And because good reads should spark reflection, here are a few gentle journal prompts:

What’s something you’ve had to let go of recently—an identity, dream, or belief—and what did that loss teach you?

💭 Where in your life are you over-efforting for control, and what might shift if you trusted the process more?

💭 Have you ever felt guilty for needing care, or unworthy of love when life changed unexpectedly? How did you navigate that?

How to access articles with paywalls?

We understand that a few of these articles are paywall-ed. Here are 2 options to bypass them:

1. 12ft.io

Disclaimer: We do not support using 12ft to violate the terms of service or copyright of other websites. This is merely a service to view webpages without javascript enabled.

Use 12ft.io. to clean any webpage by inserting this behind the URL: https://12ft.io/
<URL> make sure the url starts with https://.

For example:

Original URL: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/03/e-bike-family-parenthood/682052/

Using 12ft.io: https://12ft.io/https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2025/03/e-bike-family-parenthood/682052/

2. Use Telegram Quickview

Key the article link into the Telegram App. The app has an Instant View feature. Works mostly for The New York Times article.

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